A warning to friends and co-workers of Tim Palmer, of Lafayette: This guy likes to scare people.
"I worked at the Saturn plant in Spring Hill, Tennessee, for nine years," he says. "It was built in an old cornfield. Before the facility was built, we had our office in a trailer.
"Mice love living in cornfields, and they love exploring trailers. We saw them often.
"One guy was at his computer when I got something and lightly rubbed his foot. He backed up so fast I nearly got run over.
"When we finally built an off-site office, someone was unpacking a box when a hitchhiking mouse jumped out.
"As one of the guys was trying to trap it, one of the women was watching intently. I had a large rubber spider, so I slipped up behind her and threw it between her feet. She screamed and went straight to the restroom.
"I don't scare people as often as I used to, but I do have a Jason hockey mask on a headrest in my car."
Nutty war
"At our Livingston Parish hunting camp," says Jay Campaigne, of Walker, "we were raised to know better than to point a gun, even a BB gun, at a human being.
"Our choice of mayhem was slingshots and green acorns.
"A large live oak that split apart about roof-high had branches reaching the ground and a 'cup' where the branches separated filled with acorns, which also littered the ground.
"The acorns were gathered by a 'tree team' or a 'ground team.'
"If you yelped when hit, you were out.
"We somehow all escaped with both eyes intact."
Higher math
Warren A. Perrin, of Lafayette, says, "Mary and I enjoyed a delightful evening celebrating Roger Waggoner’s birthday with a delicious meal by his wife, May. A retired UL math professor, Roger — when asked how old he was — was naturally was very specific and replied: 'On the base of 16, I am 52!'"
Grin and bare it
Sandra Vargo presents this as a spoonerism, but it seems an accurate description:
"I saw this years ago and thought it very timely after what some of the ladies at the Met Gala were wearing.
"The description was of a 'frontless, backless, gownless evening strap.'"
Failure to communicate
John S. says, "Saturday my wife read the headline, 'Solar storm hits Earth, could disrupt communications.'
"I said, 'What?'
"Guess it was a good example of a bad communication already caused by the solar storm story."
Special People Dept.
- Rita Dollar, of Covington, celebrates her 100th birthday Thursday, May 16. She was born and raised in New Orleans. She was a CPA for A&P food stores for over 30 years.
- Austin and Waveel Sagrera, of Esther, Vermilion Parish, celebrate their 65th anniversary Thursday, May 16.
Bargain shopping
"Inflation has definitely caught up with me in my old age," says Earl Newman, of Baton Rouge:
"I can remember, back in my day, when I would go to the store with only $1 and come home with two bags of chips, one carton of milk, and three boxes of chocolate.
"Now they have cameras!"
No respect!
Ernie Gremillion, of Baton Rouge, says, "Frank Fronczek's Monday limerick reminds me of one I sent you years ago for a limerick contest you were running."
"Hard times caused The Advocate to vow
to cut back on Smiley somehow.
Three hours a day
is all they will pay.
It's two hours more than he works now."